I am supposed to keep a mood diary. I record my mood, events / triggers that moves it up and down, how much I sleep (or not sleep), my blood pressure, hy heart rate... actually pretty much my whole life.
The past two weeks was yet another rollercoaster ride.
In all the madness of the ups and downs, my mood dropped below the line. The line is normal. I was a step or two above the line for a while. I had lots of energy. I was busy with a few things at any given time. Now... things are a little slower and concentration a little more difficult. I do one thing at a time.
In times like this, I question God yet again. This disease and managing it is consuming my life. I am tired of this lifestyle. I would love to have some pizza and a glass of wine with friends, but I know how many rules that would break and what it would do to my mind and body. In times like this I am reminded of what I miss. In times like this, I am aware of lost potential and I do not understand it.
In the meantime, the rollercoaster waits for nobody. Buckle up and hang on for dear life, I suppose.
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