Last night I visited with some dear friends. We were doing Lectio Divina on Hebrews 12:1-15... a worthwhile exercise (if you are not sure what Lectio Divina is, please click here for an explanation).
Whilst there were many ideas popping up, I was confronted by my own... probably less holy... thoughts. See, God as Author of our lives shocked me. In my mind, if God writes my story... why would He include all these twists and turns? I simply do not understand how a loving God, can write stories with pain and heartache and so many tears.
As an author, you get to pick characters and storylines. If the people are real, it becomes more tricky, because how would one then decide which characters are to remain single and which ones get married and have children? How would one decide who gets sick? How would an author determine which characters live in squatter camps and which ones in mansions?
In my mind, none of this is any longer about what God does and what He allows. It is the story He writes. He determines all of this. This makes me feel hopeless today, because I am simply not up to fighting God or His script.
Deep down, I really hope that there is a fundamental error in my argument.
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