The first time I saw my psychiatrist was two and a half years ago. One of her opening statements was that she is glad I am a manager and was a consultant before, because it implies that I do know the difference in roles. She sees herself as my consultant, but I need to manage my disorder.
That stuck with me.
I am determined to manage bipolar disorder. For the past 5 weeks, I have kept a mood diary. I am measuring my blood pressure twice a day. I am weighing myself... and I am plotting all of this data in a spreadsheet.
The 'dips' and 'peaks' over the past month happened when I did not sleep enough and when I was intensely involved with other people. I can control half of that... I now know how much sleep I need. I know that I need to go to gym 4-6 times a week. I know that I need to avoid caffeiene and alcohol.
In all of this, I am still looking for Jesus. Every now and then, I see Him. In a movie... in the laughter of a child... in a taxi driver allowing me to pass him. He is in unexpected places. I love this journey. I love the people who are on this journey with me.
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