I quit

Lord, I could never understand how winners never quit,

but you're supposed to quit while you're ahead.

This morning, I am not ahead. I am not a winner. I am the weakest link.

I am broken in my spirit and in my body and I am unfit to sign up to run the race this year.

I cannot sign up for a race I am pretty sure I can't complete.

Lord, I carry more burdens than a year ago, I still have injuries. I cannot do this.

Last night, I was listening to my friends talking about you

and what they believe you would like us to do this year.

I didn't have the guts to tell them it takes EVERYTHING I have

just to get up in the morning and face another day.

I didn't have the guts to tell them how often I thought of just ending it all.

I couldn't tell them that I don't have the guts to pray,

because just the opposite of what I ask seem to happen ALL the time.

Lord, I am the foreigner in Jerusalem

who do not have a clue of what is happening in their lives

and it is probably my own fault.

I alienated them when I closed up my life, trying to survive.

So Lord, today I quit. I can't do this anymore.

When I listen to them and how they pray for others,

I am reminded of what I am not and I can not.

I can not be a burden to a team, so I quit.

Yet, I have to ask you one more thing - please help me to live today,

to look life in the eye - just today, please Lord?

In Jesus' Name,

Amen