I am so tired. I have been brave over the past few weeks and reduced my meds substantially, but today I am not convinced that my brilliant plan was that brilliant at all.
I had my eye on my blood pressure, liver enzymes, cholesterol, red blood count, platelet count, iron levels, weight and everything else that went wrong as a result of meds. I was so determined to get rid of the meds in order to fix my body.
But, this cold darkness is creeping up on me again. I am weepy, very tired (despite the fact that I sleep enough, exercise and eat healthy stuff in the right portions, cut out caffeine and alcohol and and and), irritable, and all hope seems to be escaping me. Classic depression. Again.
Lord, where are you? I think this is so unfair. I just want a normal life. I want to have an occasional glass of wine with my friends. I want to laugh with them and join in the fun, but right now, I can't catch jokes or innuendos. I feel like a leper with no hope of beating this disease. Be kind to me today? Extend your hand? Comfort me? In Jesus' Name.
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