Not much to say....

I really do not have much to say, but I am still here.

Over the past few days, I have often thought that I know why people commit suicide this time of the year. I have probably thought too much.

On Christmas Eve, a colleague was put on temporary disability, because she does not manage her bipolar disorder well. If anything, it scares me and causes me to be less likely to discuss the disorder openly.

On the upside, I had a few 'very productive' days where I cleaned and did some DIY projects. Pulled away bookshelves, cleaned the books, sorted them by category and author, then tackled the DVD shelves, then washed curtains... I have slept about 11 hours in 4 days and have almost unlimited energy.

On the downside, what goes up, must come down. I know the crash is inevitable and hope and pray that the tiredness will only kick in after 12:00 tomorrow... so I can at least semi-function at work. I could ask for a 'soft landing', but from experience know it is unlikely.

I have no new opinions about 2010, I am cautious when contemplating resolutions... I am aware of the 'cap' on man's life. Like a flower... here today, gone tomorrow... says James.

If God is not with me and for me and carrying me, I do not want another year. May you, and I be aware of His presence in this 'change over' period. May God direct our (my) steps, decisions, direction, relationships and career in the year to come. If He does not, I do not want to...