I love Dexter. If you do not know Dexter, here is a short synopsis: Dexter lives in Miami and works at the Miami Police as a blood spatter analyst. However, Dexter has what he calls 'a dark passenger'.
See, Dexter is a serial killer. BUT he kills according to Harry's (his stepfather's) code. The 'victim' must have killed before and there must be proof that he intends to do so again. The 'victims' are often the guys who fell through the cracks in the justice system.
I have my own dark passenger. No, I am not a serial killer, but sometimes there is this cold darkness in me and in my mind. To confure you and me, it is not necessarily depression and tears. Sometimes, it is a lot of energy. Sometimes I forget I am an introvert and I start talking to strangers. I get adventurous, laugh alot... and then I crash.
I thought about my passenger today and I need to say this more to myself than to you - I am not my dark passenger. I am still me. Every day is a fight to keep this passenger in his place. I will do all it takes to manage him, but I am not the dark passenger.
I am still me. I am still here. I still have hopes and dreams. I still believe in God and community. I still have friends, whom I thank God for, because they have seen it all. I am standing - for now. May God have mercy on me and on my friends.
2 comments:
I'm so not a serial killer that I won't even eat meat, but my own dark passenger is often in charge, even though the only person she harms is me. Most people would never guess I even have one. I am married, have three happy kids, the house is in good order, I have a job. But the scars on my arms tell another story. What I want to know is when died this rider get on?
I am sorry to hear that. If you were in Johannesburg, I could really recommend 'my' psychiatrist.
I really wish I had some answers for you.
Hang in there & remember to take it one day @ a time (I keep telling myself that).
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